MWF Seeking BFF

As I've gotten older, many of my close friendships from high school, college, or even the first years out of college, have either faded completely or are barely hanging on. People become immersed in their careers, marriage, and children, and become too busy to devote time to friendships. I've also found that as I've gotten older, it becomes harder to make new friends. As someone who lives in the suburbs and doesn't have children, there aren't a whole lot of places to meet new friends. So, when I saw Rachel Bertsche's new book MWF Seeking BFF: My Yearlong Search for a New Best Friend, I was intrigued. Could it be that I'm not the only one that has had difficulty finding new friends?

In her late 20s, married but no children, Rachel recently moved to Chicago. Although she knows a few people, she hasn't made any close friends. Despite living in a large city, she has had difficulty meeting people. Rachel decides to take on a year-long quest to make new friends, promising to go on 52 "friend dates" by the end of the year. She tries everything from being set up by her spouse, coworkers, and family, joining new classes, publishing an online ad, joining Meetup groups, attending speed friending, matchmaking services, and even renting a friend.

What results is an entertaining account of her experiences and a thoughtful look at the concept of friendship. She finds that despite her worries, she is not alone in her difficulty finding friends. She worries that the only people she will meet at these events will be losers, but it turns out that most of the women she meets are smart, professional, fun women who are also having trouble making connections. Rachel has done her homework for this book. She frequently references research that explores the concept of friendship, different types of friendship, and the need for friendships in our lives. She also addresses an interesting point about the stigma of loneliness in America. We see ads for matchmaking services all the time. It's perfectly acceptable to shout from the rooftops that you want a romantic relationship, but tell anyone that you are looking for a friendship and people automatically think you must be a loser. Rachel quickly learns that you don't need to be embarrassed about looking for new friendships, because chances are, others are too. And judging by the wait list for this book at the library, she is right.